The RisingSun Post

What did one skeleton say to the other during sex?  I like your boner.  

worshipthemusic.com

A man's wife comes back from vacation and discovers a dirty house. "Why is everything so filthy", she shouts. The husband explains, "you should of come back yesterday when it was clean." 

NEW ORLEANS PELICANS VS. GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS (9:30 CST)

One Night Stand State-Puff Marshmallow Baby Human Wine Box Used Tampon 

                            Who to vote for in this election,                             The many candidates in question.                             Negativity surrounding-- these campaigns,                             Political game-- popping champagne.                             Leaders on a ballot,                             Political careers that end with a mallet.                             Who is the best in show,                             Is anyone's guess who knows. 

A Jew in a concentration-camp was complaining-- that the food was burnt. The guard responds, "you are what you eat."

A man was eating dinner, when a hooker suddenly spread her legs in front of him. "Take a lick", she demanded. The man replied, "sorry, I don't eat trout". 

The New Orleans Saints showed they can beat any team in the NFL, on Thursday night. Consistency has been the foe this season, as the young squad needed time to mature. Home field advantage can propel this team back to their winning ways, if the Saints can truly make the Superdome an unbeatable place to play.

                                                    YOUR FORTUNE   Seek a calm, peaceful setting-- rather than noisy crowds. Human relationships are full of hardships, be careful not to fall idol to someone. Travel is a mental-experience, physical attraction to distant places is a ruse. Accept hardships in your life-- it's the foundation of spiritual growth.                                        Your Lucky Numbers:                                        39, 34, 28, 08, 02, 32

Guy asks a web-cam girl out for a date, to a local restaurant. She said, "yes, pick me up a 6:00". He drives to the apartment to discover her masturbating with another guy, over the internet. He asks, "can I join in". She replies, "sure, grab your laptop". 

The mother asks the nurse, "what is my baby doing in there" ! The nurse replies, "I think he's updating his Facebook status". 

Much to fear The spooky time is here The dead come alive Better run and hide Skeletons come out of the closets Corps out of the caskets   Pumpkins for carving Treats for starving What a gruesome time of year Much to fear

A gay man walks in the doctor's office to get a flu shot. The nurse asks, "where do you want to get it" The gay man replies, "in the rear" "Pull down your pants and bend over", orders the nurse. To the nurses surprise, there was a used condom hanging out of his butt. The gay man says, "well, this isn't the first time I got poked in the ass, today".